I am being vulnerable here. There is no shame in sharing my feelings about choosing differently this year.

It takes extraordinary courage to change how you date. It’s not easy to reset boundaries, communicate better, flee sexual immorality, confess failures, and end the relationship that needs to end. But you will never regret making the right changes.

Above all else, I will look for Jesus.

There are open doors but If resolve to change nothing else about my patterns in relationships, I resolve to make Jesus the most important thing in my choice. I raise Philippians 1:21 over my next relationship: “To me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” If to live is Christ, then to date is Christ. To marry is Christ. To remain single is Christ. He is our reason for living and working, growing and learning, dating and marrying. I will choose someone who will charge the gates of hell beside me. I will pursue someone who is ready to lose everything to gain Christ. Above all else, I will look for Jesus.

• A Chance to Date Differently •

Let your dating be of that displays and promotes faith in Jesus and his good news, a dating that is in step with the gospel before the watching world. I want us to win disciples by dating radically, by confronting the world’s paradigms and pleasure seeking with sacrifice, selflessness, and intentionality. Men and women in the world want many of the same things you want: affection, commitment, conversation, stability, and sex. And eventually they will see that the ground under your lives and relationship is firmer than the flimsy flings they’ve known. They’ll see something deeper, stronger, and more meaningful between you and your significant other. Do the people in each of your lives know and love Jesus more because you’re together? Do they see God’s grace and truth working in you and your relationship as you walk through life together? Are the two of you thinking proactively about how to bless your friends and family and point them to Christ? More and more, as the world is watering down dating, your relationship can be a provocative picture of your fidelity to Christ and a call to follow him. • Marshall Segal, Not Yet Married •