“Jesus, please hold me together.” I recited those words on January, 01-2018. It is one of my favorite Bible verses, Colossians 1:17, “He (Jesus) existed before anything else, and he hold all creation together.”
“…. I know with all certainty that the long dry season has drawn me to Jesus in a way that I never could have known apart from it. In the stillness and the quiet, in the suffering, I had fallen in love with Jesus over again. I rediscovered Him. I had an encounter with Jesus. And only then, only after I had felt His piercing gaze of love for me, had He brought a woman, of God, whom I was indeed falling in love with as well. A thing that I thought might never happen.
The Lord was using my friend to unlock a place of deep, unbridled joy within me, one that I had not allowed myself to experience in quite a while. I felt hesitant, even scared, to fully pursue her, though it had brought so much delight in me.
I had prayed Isaiah 61 over my life “to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” I knew deep in my spirit that this was my loving Father’s song over me. Beauty for ashes, can I believe it? Beauty for ashes, can I receive it? Could I?
I can see His promise in the winter.
I know this deep in my heart, yet I am hesitant. His voice speaks to me, clear in a way that it seldom is, and I know He is asking me to step into a season of great joy with Him. I am bringing blessing and refreshment on your life, He says. It has been a long, dry season. I know, child. But that season is over; refreshment is coming. Step into it. You can enjoy the rain. You can receive what I am giving with open hands and rejoice.
After a seemingly endless season of hard, I need permission to rejoice. If I am honest, maybe somewhere along the way I have forgotten how to truly rejoice in Him.
Here again, He is calling me to hope, this hope that appeared impossible when the world was hard and dark, this hope that has taught me so much of His heart for me. I feel a nervousness, maybe even a fear, in stepping into a season like the one I sense He is promising me. I have grown used to the dry season. I have known Jesus here in this long, hard place, a season of joy now seems foreign. But I can feel Him assuring me that He will be known here too. Receive, He says again and again. Receive My blessings; receive My provision; receive My love for you.
Again and again in the days to come, the Lord would confirm that He was calling me out of the cleft of the rock—that He was giving me a new song to sing, a beautiful song arising from the places of dust and ashes around me. It was a song of praise. He was calling me to step into all He had for me here. It was time to come out of the hidden place and sing and embrace all that He was giving, the blessing He was pouring out. And He knew that my voice might come out crackly and tired at first, out of practice. But He would hear beauty in my song of praise in this new and glorious season.
End of the day, 31 Dec 2017.